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Thursday, April 10th, 2008
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I will be pursuing my PhD next year at the Operations Research & Financial Engineering program at Princeton University.
I would like to thank the following people who offered opinions, advice, and support regarding my very difficult and close decision:
Jasmine Bloch, Clare Bohnett, Justin Bulava, Andy Carver, J. Georg Cerf, Sky and Saran Chari, Karen Clark, Cindy Curtis, Erin Flaherty, Gary and Joan Grealis, Tim and Holly Grealis, Ann Grealis, Aslan Grealis, Allison Gretsuk, Tom Hagedorn, Nancy Hingston, Nina Jankowicz, Jean-Michelet Jean-Michel, Brendan Kelly, Deb Kelly, Anand Khare, Helen and Sheldon London, Vincent Martinez, Herbert Mayo, Scott McIsaac, Sharon Navard, Aigli Papantonopoulou, Josh Pikulin, Jay Preciado, Dian and David Stein, Allison Stein, Dick Thayer, Don Vandegrift, Susan Vincent, Todd Zubatkin, and dozens of students, faculty, and staff at Brown, Columbia, Courant, and Princeton.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 10th, 2008
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I spent $40 to apply to Ohio State University's graduate math program.
I had seen brief mention of this law over the years, but I suppose it didn't occur to me during grad school applications that Ohio State University is within the state of Ohio (whoops):
http://codes.ohio.gov/orc/2915.02
Specifically:
(A) No person shall do any of the following:
...
(4) Engage in betting or in playing any scheme or game of chance as a substantial source of income or livelihood;
So, for some reason, I would not be allowed to derive most of income from poker while in Ohio.
Is it enforced? Probably not. Is it rational? I don't even need to address that question. But I would probably want to consider some form of legal counsel before going to school in Ohio and playing poker as a source of income (foregoing this would be very costly in at least 95% of potential federal legislative futures, effectively a huge "anti-fellowship" for my graduate studies). And even if it was determined that it was pretty safe despite the law... it wouldn't sit well with me.
And I'm not going to pursue that legal counsel unless it becomes the case that I REALLY want to choose Ohio. $40 almost certainly wasted.
Ohio was a "safe school" in the first place, just for the sake of giving me a few options in case I got rejected from most of the tough programs. In light of this discovery, it almost certainly was a mistake to apply at all. And now if I do get in, it's going to be hard to make an unbiased comparison of their program with any others I got into. Even before realizing this state law, Ohio was the program I was least interested in. That's a lot of bias to overcome if it turns out that Ohio IS the right choice for me among the schools I get into.
And due to the audacity of the law ... I'm pretty livid right now. This state law is the most appalling and strict state law of the "anti "" '"""""gambling"" " '' " LOL" type there is, in my studies -- note that this prevents being a professional poker player in ANY venue, not just online.
I hereby publicly call for the state of Ohio to send me $40. Until then, I hate you, Ohio1, 2.
1 I hate you regardless obv.
2 I'm mostly just mad at myself of course... I was ALMOST going to do a quick check of state laws for every program I was considering applying to, but there was too much else to look up. I am frustrated that I forgot about this legendary state law.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Friday, January 4th, 2008
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I just stumbled upon an online wagering company called Intrade1 in some forum readings about poker politics; apparently Fox News recommended this site to its viewers, which helps accentuate the hilarious irrational and hypocritical nature of such a company being legal under US law.
There's really not anything to say here. Such so-called "prediction markets" are clearly isomorphic to sports betting. Federal law makes almost all commercial offerings of sports bets illegal. It's not legal to bet (or "trade" in the sense that this site may also permit) on positions that depend on the outcome of large-scale games between professional athletes, and yet we are led to believe that somehow politics, the biggest game of all, is exempt.
In the case of prediction markets, the economic utility is clear and is well-endorsed by the intellectual community. The utility of such a bet can come from:
- hedging, as described above (very common in traditional equities markets, of course)
- profiting from superior analysis or information advantage (this is the cornerstone of most of the financial industry)
- entertainment utility derived from having a stake in one's opinion (the primary reason for sports bets, of course... but I am sure that the majority of action on the 08 election on intrade will be from uninformed consumers simply "betting on the horse they like")
All of these exist in sports betting as well.
Hedging has particular economic value. For example, from what I understand, Huckabee becoming president would create a very hostile environment for online poker, one in which any sort of regulation or reversal of the UIGEA would be very unlikely. As a professional with a large personal financial stake in the health of online poker in the years to come, I could effectively hedge my financial future by making a large bet on Huckabee to win.
The primary controversial issue with sports betting is that a participant in a game could place a wager and create an externality that compromises the integrity of the game. This is inevitable in any economy where free contracts are allowed, as an external contract could be created that compelled a player in a game to act against his internal self-interests in the game. There is no reason that this couldn't happen with the presidential election! At the very least, if a candidate is about to concede, but a sportsbook (excuse me, I mean prediction market) is still giving him a small % to win, he or his associates can book action against him before he announces his concession.
The way I view it, economics would say that all of these bets must exist (it's not practical or ethical to restrict a certain class of them, if nothing else) and that the "buyer beware" of risks of collusion or foul play within the events that are wagered upon. It only destroys the present commercial mega-industry that is professional sports if colluders are able to find idiots to book sufficient action to give them incentive to throw a game, or whatever. Unfortunately, our culture has bred and endless supply of idiots who are overly passionate and opinionated about sporting events, and many of them have plenty of money to back up their expert predictions.
There is a thin line between a site like Intrade and an illegal online sportsbook. Many sportsbooks also book action on events in the entertainment world (American Idol results, Oscar results, etc.) and, in my experience, such entertainment bets are seen as just as illegal as sports bets (again, clearly the same). Yet Intrade is currently offering action on a few entertainment-related events such as the duration of the writer's strike. There's no real distinction here, except that, again, the Intrade bets seem to have more obvious economic value to more people as hedges. But this is precisely the reason that any sort of bet should be legal (and is essentially impossible/immoral to be made illegal). Any random or future event can have the forms of economic utility as described above to somebody.
And then of course, the fact that it's absurd to prohibit certain small classes of voluntary contracts between consenting adults, etc etc.
Just to clarify a few things that I may not have clarified or explained on a public level:
- I have no personal interest or financial stake in sports betting.
- Poker, from any rational moral, social, or legislative standpoint, must be treated differently from any "simple bet" (a risking of money upon a random event where the player has no nontrivial means of affecting the outcome, such as roulette, the stock market, and sports betting).
- From this, an important observation follows: freedom to make sports bets and freedom to play poker are COMPLETELY SEPARATE LEGAL ISSUES:
* SPORTS BETTING
- is the only "gambling" that is actually illegal under federal law.
- is the basis for current policy and/or implied policy towards restricting all other things that "look like" gambling; nobody would attempt to restrict poker if not for the social stigma and historical problems associated with sports betting.
- has basic economic and moral arguments for their legalizaton as noted above.
* POKER
- is undeniably different on a fundamental and practical level from "simple bets"; poker is a GAME in the Von Neumann sense, with multiple players. Accordingly, arguments for poker freedoms come from more of a mathematical level ("skill versus luck" arguments and other farces of mathematics and statistics that governmental figures do not understand).
- has lower incidence rates of addiction, higher economic value to a society, and much more intellectual and personal benefits to its players than other "gambling".
- has precedent for its automatic legalization as isomorphic games are already legal in various venues (ex. "skill games" sites currently offer multiplayer games for money from within the US that are structurally identical to tournament poker2)
1http://www.intrade.com/
2one example is Worldwinner
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Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
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prior years: (2006 2005)
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Got a “real job” interning as an actuary this summer.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t have any this year, but I might make a few for next year because I am doing an increasingly poor job of taking care of myself emotionally in the face of various traumas. It’s pretty much just a coincidence that I’m getting around to it near the start of the new year, though… the idea is still kind of stupid but it’s timed out well this time. I’m thinking something along the lines of:
- find more outlets for my anger
- develop more regimented physical, mental, and emotional exercises… perhaps finally check out the gym on my campus
- blog more (joint resolution with Nina, may or may not persist too long)
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. Nina became an aunt so that sort of counts.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, neither of them did. (This is just a joke. In truth there are about 8 people that are close to me. No more than 12.)
5. What countries did you visit?
0
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A reasonable and/or logical legal and social environment for poker.
7. What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This Sep. 30th turned out to be another memorable, difficult date for me. I don’t remember any other specific dates.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being successful in my actuarial internship.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not switching to No Limit Holdem from Limit Holdem sooner.
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Not that I know of.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Wiiiiiiiiiiii!
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Just Nina.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
You know who you are.
14. Where did most of your money go?
I suppose more than half of my money went towards investments, as about a third of my money goes towards taxes and about an eighth of my money gets spent. I have some money in stock indexes now and it feels good to be free of arbitrary mutual funds. I also spent over $1K on testing for and applying to grad schools this year… kind of ridiculous.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
That is far too many “really”s to describe any excitement that I can remember in my life. Get online poker explicitly legal, unfettered, and understood in my country and then we’ll talk.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Time Flies.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. Thinner or fatter? No statistically significant change, I think. Eating better though.
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer obv. It’s going to be disappointing the first year my monetary assets decrease... but that’ll probably be the year in which I buy a house, so that will be fun.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Poker. And I miss music.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Feeling.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
The usual.
21. (there is no question 21 and I just noticed now… strange.)
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I remained in love, which doesn’t count as a fall I guess, but whatever. It is great and should continue to be great.
23. How many one-night stands?
The Articles of Confederation (1777) - To all to whom these Presents shall come, we the undersigned Delegates of the States affixed to our Names send greeting.
Articles of Confederation and perpetual Union between the states of New Hampshire, Massachusetts-bay Rhode Island and Providence Plantations, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia.
I. The Stile of this Confederacy shall be "The United States of America".
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Flight of the Conchords is good.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No new recipients of hate, but oh man are there new levels of hate.
26. What was the best book you read?
I don’t recall reading anything except Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, so that I guess.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That I am at least passable as a band for parties (with a little help from my friends).
28. What did you want and get?
My internship.
29. What did you want and not get?
Justice, rationality, tolerance… you know, the standard unattainable luxuries.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Simpsons Movie I guess.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 21, and did absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. I can’t believe I forgot to drink!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Living with Nina.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
I don’t really like dressing up every day to go into an office. Is that an answer?
34. What kept you sane?
Mostly Nina. And then social reclusion, repressing feelings, becoming more powerful.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Myself.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The usual inconceivably absurd poker issues.
37. Who did you miss?
Just Nina.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Dr. Richard Thayer of TCNJ.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
I learned to not trust, respect, or befriend anyone without strong evidence that they deserve it. Also, if you can’t see things from multiple perspectives, you are often doomed. This is a lesson from my studies in mathematics and economics that turns out to be pretty crucial in literally everything.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Once again, if I had one, I'd write the song.
This year was stupid.
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Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
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I have decided on the graduate programs that I am applying to for next fall (in alphabetical order):
Brown University - Applied Mathematics
Carnegie Mellon University - Pure Mathematics
Columbia University - Statistics
Courant Institute - Mathematics
Lehigh University - Mathematics
Ohio State University - Mathematics
Princeton University - Applied Mathematics
Rutgers University - Mathematics
Rutgers University - Statistics
University of Pennsylvania - Pure Mathematics
In all cases, I aim to specialize in probability theory and stochastic processes.
I probably could write a lot more about the whole process. I devoted a lot of time to preparing for the GRE Math Subject Test, despite hating it, and earned a respectable but not extraordinary score. I am taking the GRE General Test tomorrow and not spending very much time preparing for it. From what I've heard it's pretty easy and stupid.
While I have been infamously unsure of what I want to do with my future, after looking at these programs and having my summer experience as an actuary, I am pretty confident that a Ph.D. is the best choice for me right now. Some of these programs fit my interests very well and I'd be excited to go to them. My internship as an actuary this summer (speaking of things I should write a lot more about...) was good, but I am less interested in being an actuary because of it. A quick summary of my conclusions from my summer experience: Being an actuary involves much, much less math than I was led to believe. It is an excellent office job and pays well, but office jobs are not fun or the most intellectually rewarding experiences. I suspect there may be a better occupation for me.
Rather than start work as an actuary right away, going to grad school to see if there's a more compelling field for me seems like a better idea. It is probably a net loss of lifetime time-valued income for me relative to beginning work as an actuary immediately. Beginning work as an actuary immediately is also a net loss of lifetime time-valued income for me relative to taking a few years to play poker full-time, and almost certainly a net loss for my personal happiness and comfort relative to this. Poker can at least be incorporated to my grad school life in a greater part-time capacity than work, I hope.
Poker is definitely a strange factor in my decision of what to do next year. Going to grad school, even under a full fellowship of some sort, costs me money for sure. Playing poker full-time would be intellectually and personally rewarding for me. I have to deal with the very real possibility that going to grad school could be a mistake in the scope of my life.
But my decision is made. When I was choosing undergraduate programs, I ended up settling on the most financially-efficient choice due to uncertainty about what I wanted to do. Here, still in the face of some uncertainty about my future career, I am doing exactly the opposite. It's time to challenge myself and push my academic strengths to their limits, even if it means burning an amount of money that I probably don't benefit from estimating. Grad school it is. If I run good, I might even find something that I love and be able to do it for the rest of my life.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, October 28th, 2007
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The theme of my life lately is that I can't be happy doing pointless things that I don't enjoy. This is mostly the GRE Math subject test and my required history class that I'm finally taking. I don't like the structure of the GRE Math test and don't feel that anything I would want to do in my future should require this test. It's really hard to know if grad school is the "right" path or not, and this test makes me feel like a mediocre student because it's stuff I don't care about and/or learned 3-4 years ago. I have felt less intelligent at nearly everything quite often over the past several months, and I expect this is a direct effect of being forced to spend dozens of hours on things like this. I don't feel a need to excel at everything I do, but it sure is more fun to do things I'm excellent at.
I'm also sick of systems where there is no incentive or punishment system to compel ethical behavior. This is mostly the tendency of college kids to be unboundedly selfish in their noise production, but also probably our country's legislature. This is nothing new but the fragility of my mind is something new, and it's a bad combination.
I have meant to "start writing in this again" for a while. It's weird looking back on older entries. Until recently I would always say that I haven't changed much in college, but suddenly I clearly have changed somehow, at least a little. If I was 40 years old as a freshman, I must be 50 by now. I guess it's some combination of being in love and being abused by a variety of different manifestations of society. Which is broad, I guess.
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Thursday, October 18th, 2007
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The last year (specifically, the past 8 months) of my life has been the worst, for sure. Not close.
One thing I realized recently... before October 2006, nobody had ever done anything unforgivably bad to me. I put a lot of thought into this and am pretty confident I am not forgetting anything... and, of course, if it was truly unforgivable, I wouldn't have forgotten it.
Over the past 8 months, several people have done unforgivable things to me. Several as in greater than two.
Some of it is just uncomfortable memories. Some of it is still constantly present in my life. In both cases, whenever I am unable to ignore these things, I get frustrated and depressed (definitely a lowercase "d", don't worry).
Obviously my life is still fine. Even in the face of various ruin, it is still excellent and I "have no right to complain". My family and friends are alive and healthy. I am in love. I have performed well in my academic year and am about to enter a very lucrative summer internship. I still have "lots of money".
But the fact that these unforgivable issues in my life come from the deliberate and appalling acts of others is distressing to me. So, yeah, I don't have cancer or anything, but cancer isn't the result of people mistreating each other.
More than ever now, I go through great efforts to give people the benefit of the doubt, respecting them and refraining from judging them because they are different than me. I feel like many other people do not do this at all to me.
More than ever now, I go through great efforts to leave others alone rather than inconvenience or upset them. I feel like many other people do not do this at all to me.
More than ever now, I think before I do anything. I feel like many other people do not do this at all.
I'll be ok.
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Saturday, April 28th, 2007
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Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
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I actually wrote an actual song. Check it out:
Time Flies
This song has been a huge project for me, it took a surprising amount of work. At this point, I am so sick of the song that I probably don't have any accuracy in assessing how good it is. So... please leave some feedback if you listen. Thanks.
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Comments: Read 9 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
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It's almost HSPA season again, and once again I have (as usual, during the mathematical parts of a business course) stumbled upon a strange program file in my trusty TI-83 Plus, still going strong from high school.
I think the file should mostly speak for itself, but I'll set it up a little. During the mathematics part of the 2003 HSPA -- one of the most absurd standardized tests I'm aware of -- I finished early enough on one of the mathematics sections that I took the liberty of typing up notes (on the TI-83 Plus' nonintuitive keypad) criticizing the absurdity and poor formulation of some of the problems.
I present it to you as it appears to reader of the calculator.
( Have fun! )
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Monday, February 5th, 2007
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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
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There is a very important announcement I must make before I turn 21 tomorrow.
Earlier today, I was diagnosed with a personal health problem. It is not that serious... I will be able to function normally (perhaps even more effectively, as a strange consequence) and live a long life (perhaps even a longer one -- another bizarre side effect of this problem), with only one exception: due to the specific and unique nature of the condition, I absolutely cannot drink any alcohol.
This is the only consequence of this medical condition, though many will see it as a big one. Some will say that I've brought this disease upon myself through the way I've lived my life, but that doesn't help cure this problem and I don't want to hear it right now.
To those of you that will continue to interact with me (don't worry, this condition is in no way contagious), I thank you in advance for accepting this sad news and for helping me to cope through the crippling effect this will have on my capacity to behave like everybody else. I also thank you for respecting my personal right in not going into more detail about the specifics of this disease. I'm sure you understand.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, January 1st, 2007
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1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I'd say I did a great job of dealing with various outrages. I don't think that's what this question wants, though. Those are more like things that were done to me that had never been done to me before. So, probably nothing.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't really have any, and, as I said last year, the concept is a bit too asinine. I definitely need to get in more poker hours this year, but that's been an ongoing goal. On the larger scale, this goal falls under effectively balancing my time. So sure, let's call that a new year's resolution. I'd also like to spend more time doing physical exercise, mental exercise, and personal analysis/reflection so that I can either be a bit less of a social aberration or at least become more comfortable in being one.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My great aunt and my dog. Each fails in one of "counting as 'anyone'" or "being close to me", though, depending on your perspective.
5. What countries did you visit?
0
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Getting my freedoms, rights, and innocence back would be pretty fuckin' sweet, thanks.
7. What date(s) from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 30th was when Congress passed the Ports Bill, and October 13th was when it was signed (simultaneously, when PartyPoker closed its doors to U.S. customers, the most tangible event to perhaps eventually be considered as the official end of the poker boom).
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not considering suicide. I'm serious, and I know that might look weird to people who don't have a firm appreciation of how the legal events of this year impacted me beyond just my money. I think that it never crossed my mind during the events surrounding the UIGEA nearly guarantees that nothing could ever bring me to it. I am a much, much, much stronger person from these unforgivable events and I'm proud. I am doing well. If you'd like an answer that's a bit easier on the eyes, I also 4.0'ed the entire year despite taking 20 credits of upper-level mathematics/statistics courses each semester.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to keep in touch with people... not even close.
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Some irregular heartbeats that led to a few inconveniencing and uncomfortable tests, no real illness or injury though.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My excessively powerful new desktop that replaced my crashed laptop. Also, I'm pleasantly surprised with how much I'm enjoying my Nintendo DS.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Just Nina. Well, probably other people too. I appreciate anyone who reached out to me or made efforts to understand me over the past year. This just happens to be mostly Nina.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Senator Bill Frist and friends.
14. Where did most of your money go?
High-yield savings accounts. Heh, my answer for last year indicated my plans to actually get involved with managing some actual investments... it turns out that Emigrant Direct's 5.05% APY + a rather high opportunity cost on my time + an inexplicable lack of personal interest in the investment world = financial complacency.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The release of the Aftermath album, I suppose. Fun Fact: I sold 1 copy of it.
16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
I'll stick with my answer from last year: This isn't how my brain works. I tend not to remember frivolous things. Linking a song to a year is not something I would tend to do.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Sadder.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Fatter, or maybe it's close.
iii. Richer or poorer? Richer in terms of actual current assets. In terms of future net worth, the events of this year have probably caused mine to fall by about $1M.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Logging poker hours. And probably music, too.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Last year's answer seems good again: General idleness at the computer. Not that I even did that much, as I was usually studying or doing something else productive simultaneously.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
The usual.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Absolutely! :)
23. How many one-night stands?
The Magna Carta (1215) - JOHN, by the grace of God King of England, Lord of Ireland, Duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and Count of Anjou, to his archbishops, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justices, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his officials and loyal subjects, Greeting.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
South Park did well this year. I also definitely need to see a lot more of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
For sure. Definitely at least a few politicians.
26. What was the best book you read?
Academic: An Introduction to Topology and Homotopy by Allan J. Sieradski
Nonfiction: One Of A Kind, the rise and fall of Stuey "The Kid" Ungar by Nolan Dalla, Peter Alson, and Mike Sexton *
Poker Strategy/Theory: The Mathematics of Poker by Bill Chen and Jerrod Ankenman (I'm not even finished yet, but this is exceeding my lofty expectations... I would have had to write it eventually if they didn't)
Novel/Pleasure Reading: Harry Potter 1-6 by J. K. Rowling *
--note: those winners marked with asterisks won by default by having no other competitors
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
wokeupwaytoolate.com File Dump, sweeeeet (like all great musical discoveries, this is actually Lauren's).
28. What did you want and get?
A fulfilling, deep, and meaningful relationship with another human being.
29. What did you want and not get?
Respect, tolerance, justice, understanding, intrinsic economic rights, constitutional rights, etc etc etc.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Little Miss Sunshine was funny.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 20, went to classes, and drove home to spend less than an hour with Nina.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Mattering.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Last year's answer holds up: Not applicable. Substantially less frequent shaving overall, I suppose. I have never cared less about what I look like than I do now.
34. What kept you sane?
From last year: Rational thought processes, objectivism, removing myself from the outcomes of various random events. Add to that some really aggressive self-analysis, learning to avoid rather than confront those problems that can be avoided, starting to ignore certain specific people while listening more to the people that really care about me, political activism that I at least temporarily convinced myself was effectual. And Nina, of course. I may have not been sane without her.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nobody really did a good job. Rep. Shelley Berkley, I suppose.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Aaaaaaahahahahaha.
37. Who did you miss?
Just Nina.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Eh. Nobody comes to mind, really. Glen Wilson, I guess? He is probably the most enthusiastic and intelligent freshman to ever grace the mathematics department of my "school".
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Don't ever devote yourself to a healthy, stable, personally-beneficial and globally-acceptable economic system that looks like something sinful and destructive to the average dumbfuck American.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Trust me, pal, if I had one, I'd write the song.
Worst year of my life. Even if the UIGEA never happened, it was still filled with problems, inconviences, and personal dissatisfaction. The good news is that I've had Nina through all of it, I love her very much, and this will keep getting better and better. The other good news is that I'm really unlikely to ever have a worse year in my life than this one until people I love start dying. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
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Yesterday, I was linked to an article in a highly dubious media outlet. It is just the average appallingly ignorant opinion article about online poker, mistakenly filed not under opinion. Among the gems in it are "There is a new trend arising on college campuses and it is ruining many lives, while making some much, much better", "Online poker is ruining lives. College students are now spending more time playing online than they are studying or spending time with their friends", and general ignorance about basic statistics.
So I commented on the article in a civil and nonconfrontational way. A few paragraphs, no big deal.
I check it out today. My comment was deleted. Marty's comment, consisting of "die", made before mine, was not deleted.
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Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
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I was linked by a poker newsfeed to this article in some sort of Oregon publication. Like many other articles I've seen, it is a prominent example of something that disturbs me: not only an author, but an author who holds a position for some problem gambling treatment group, ignoring the fundamental and relevant differences between poker and traditional gambling.
I read some of his other work, and this was evident in most of his work (notably this).
How can we hope to ever have the general public at least partially aware of why poker is not a slot machine when the people who SHOULD be treating the differences are ignoring them?
I decided, in between MODO rounds, to write the author a little email calling for his resignation. In doing so, I decided not to call for his resignation, and it ended up being fairly cohesive. Since he may or may not ever read it (and, if he does, it's just some small publication in Oregon), I'll share it here.
( Read more )
edit: Uhhhh apparently I somehow missed this line in the first article: "Research indicates that 60-90 percent of youth engage in gambling...", which surely takes the Most Blatantly Falsified Statistic award from the line I saw in the second article: "4 percent to 6 percent of youth have a severe gambling problem. Compare that with national statistics showing 4.2 percent of youth abuse alcohol and 2.3 percent have an illicit-drug problem".
Now I'm kind of upset that I treated this guy with any respect. Next time, I won't let myself calm down at all before rattling off the email.
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Tuesday, November 7th, 2006
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My life has not been fun. The past few weeks have been the start of the long period where very little happens regarding online poker... and it's hard to deal with the uneventfulness. Most of the initial big news has happened, and now nothing big might happen until the 270 day grace period for the law expires and some more companies choose to comply with it. There hasn't been a lot of new action or developments in the fight against this law either, but I've been seeing more and more media that supports "our" side of this issue, which is all that most of us can do right now. Apparently some pundits really think that this issue will have an effect on the midterm elections, which is definitely possible and definitely excellent. For now, I'm just trying to keep up with the news, manage my Facebook group and spread awareness about the issue to people. In the meantime, most of the big sites are still taking American business and I'm probably making an average profit of somewhere around 50-60% of what I would earn pre-disaster. It's definitely getting harder for me to put in the hours, though, as I'm getting disillusioned, unmotivated and depressed more often, mostly because of this issue.
My laptop crashed in the middle of exams, and I spent very close to 24 hours over the following few days attempting to fix it myself, getting a new hard drive installed, and then trying to set up the proper drivers myself. After many many hours of messing with the drivers, the laptop was still much slower than it was pre-crash, so I ended up having to buy a unnecessarily powerful desktop and a 2nd 20" flat screen monitor so that I could play poker at my usual supernatural speed. So at least now I'm enjoying a fairly awesome setup, but man, I would have just bought this right away if I knew how much of my time the laptop would take. Or that Dell's warranty provided only a "refurbished" replacement hard drive to replace my broken one, which is presumably why it is now irreparably slow.
Apparently, amidst these various nightmares I've been living, I forgot to apply for an absentee ballot, so I get to burn 2-3 hours of my evening tonight driving home to vote. Since I have lost all faith in my government, I don't feel like voting at all, but I realize how it's "important" in theory, especially since some sources say our state is "close"? The dumb thing is that this is the first (and probably not the last) time that I am voting for candidates solely based on the letter next to their name, because they all seem pretty reasonable otherwise. I don't really understand the necessity and intricacies of our party system, and it just feels really, really dumb to be voting based on that. When people ask me about my political affiliation, I say "I'm not sure if I have one. Most people call me a Democrat and they are probably correct." I guess I'm more likely to be a Democrat now in the wake of the poker atrocity... even though it was a fairly bipartisan issue, many "big" people have switched their political affiliation from R to D because of this. If nothing else, "blaming" this inexplicable legislative fuckup on the Republicans is probably a good way to draw attention to it from the proper people... and it probably is mostly their fault.
I've also been having a lot of fun getting extensive medical analysis done on some very small, infrequent heart palpitations I've had for a few months. I have been walking around with electrodes on my titties for a few weeks, and soon I get to have some sort of probe shoved down my throat, it seems like a lot of fun. It will be fun.
And I also just finished applying for the Goldwater Scholarship, due to faculty suggestion/insistence. I would not choose to apply on my own, as I don't think I have much chance to succeed at it. It's apparently pretty prestigious, but it's also for people who have both specific goals for their future and a deep experience in research. I've only just started my research project, and all I really know about it right now is it involves modeling the spread of a parasitic fungus in the population of some sort of grass. My application took a lot of time and is very, very weak. I do not expect to even be accepted as one of the TCNJ finalists. There were very few questions on the application aside from the research essay, but one of them was particularly disenchanting for me. I had a nice, bitter answer for it, but decided to change it (to an explanation of how I'm a minority as a poker player; probably looks just as stupid as my caustic answer to the average old, white judge for this, but hey, in that case, fuck that guy, I don't want his money):
Q: Goldwater Scholars will be representative of the diverse economic, ethnic, and occupational backgrounds of families in the United States. Describe any characteristics or other personal information about yourself or your family that you wish to share with the review committee.
A: Regrettably, I was not born with any real or imagined socioeconomic disadvantages. I am sure that the only time I have felt oppressed because of my background was while answering this question.
Now I'm going to go take a nap so I can get through the rest of the day without becoming exhausted by the absurdity of making a round trip home on a weekday night to participate in some sort of stylized national farce.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, November 1st, 2006
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ahahahahah.
This study of gambling trends in Oregon was published last month (October). As a whole, it doesn't seem like that bad of a study... but it is a modern study, published last month, and in all of its 57 pages, it does not mention or refer to poker at all. The word "poker" only occurs in instances of "video poker". In their classification of types of gambling, there are three separate types of video poker, but poker is presumably lumped in with "Non-Casino Cards". And of course, there is no definition or description of their "Skill Games" category. They mention bowling, golf, and pool, so presumably they just use this to refer to things that don't appear to be intuitively subject to chance. If they included backgammon in this and made no mention of poker in the paper... well, that's just atrocious. Surely poker is categorized under "card game gambling", which hopefully just includes poker, gin, bridge... if it includes blackjack, people need to actually be fired.
At any rate, it is certainly an incredibly large oversight to not have a separate analysis of poker in any modern analysis of gambling trends. In my opinion as an amateur statistician, it invalidates the entire study and certainly exposes the ignorance and carelessness of its designers. This just highlights the lack of distinction for poker that is ruining the entire social/legislative process surrounding gambling. This study partitions gambling activity into SEVENTEEN categories and poker, a blatantly unique game in the world of gambling, does not get its own category. If a study with over a dozen classifications ignores it, how can we expect society and government to make the obvious distinction? We need knowledgeable and competent individuals and organizations working towards analyzing and addressing problematic gambling behavior. Sorry, Oregon. You stink.
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Friday, October 27th, 2006
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bullshit.
It was unclear whether or not the live casino interests supported the Prohibition for purely broad protectionist reasons or if they had something specific in mind. I suppose they had something specific in mind, though this seems completely asinine. No matter how big this gets, I can't imagine it bringing too much increased revenue to a casino... though it probably didn't take too much money from them to get this passed. This isn't especially close to correct.
I mean, I don't give a fuck about this either way. They can do what they want now. But their motives are a lot more blatant now, even if they didn't plan this, and it's going to draw a lot of negative attention to them and a lot of positive attention to the cause from people and organizations that enjoy fair economic practices.
Lisa: I can't believe that extra-thick layer of pollution that I've picketed against is what burned up the comet.
Bart: But what's really amazing, is that this is exactly what Dad said would happen.
Lisa: Yeah, Dad was right...
Homer: I know, kids. I'm scared too!
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